


Probability

by theinsandoutsofcastiel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, NSFW, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsandoutsofcastiel/pseuds/theinsandoutsofcastiel
Summary: Request: Hi! I just wanted to say that I love your work and hoped I could make a request. Maybe a strange one because I’m not sure how you feel about him, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Since you’ve written a few TWD fics, would you be willing to write a little something about Eugene? Maybe something about the female reader teaching him how to kiss or have sex because he’s never had the experience before? I kinda hate the whole Eugene x Rosita plot and would love to see him end up with someone who deserves him (like the Reader lol!). I completely understand if you don’t want to write it. Thank you for even reading this!
Relationships: Eugene Porter/Reader, Eugene Porter/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Jealous!Reader, fluff, no smut in this part

You sigh as you turn the key in the lock of the house you share with Tara, Eugene, Abraham, and Rosita. Your shift on guard duty has left you exhausted and you want nothing more than to lie down and get some rest. When you pass through the living room, you can’t help but notice Eugene sitting by the window. He has a book in his hands but it hasn’t been able to hold his attention. Instead, he stares absentmindedly out the window. “Hey, Genie, what’s on your mind?” you ask as you plop down onto the sofa next to him.

“Nothing of import,” he replies, continuing to stare. This was anything but his usual response. Normally he would go on about your poor choice of nickname for him given the fact that he does not live in a lamp or grant wishes.

“It’s obviously something, I can tell,” you reply, furrowing your brow, “You know you can talk to me right?”

“Affirmative,” Eugene answers with uncharacteristic brevity. You follow his gaze and realize what, or rather who, has been distracting him. Rosita stands not too far from the house, her back to the window with her hand on her hip as she talks to a group of survivors.

Jealousy begins to bubble inside you, though you knew you shouldn’t feel this way. Eugene was never yours and your crush on your best friend doesn’t justify preventing Eugene from being with Rosita, if that was what he really wanted. You do your best to mask your true feelings and be supportive.

“Rosita?” you ask gently.

“Affirmative,” he replies again. He sighs and looks down at the book in his hands. Eugene had been infatuated with Rosita ever since you’d met the pair, but she never seemed to give him the time of day; not to mention the fact that her interactions with Eugene are less than positive more often than not. The fact that Eugene is still interested in her despite the way she treats him is irritating to say the least.

“She’ll come to her senses eventually,” you try to assure him, placing a hand on his shoulder. There was a time he’d move away or freeze when you touched him, but your touch doesn’t vex him any longer.

“I’ve been thinking,” Eugene tells you, “Some women prefer men with experience and perhaps Rosita is of a similar notion. It would explain her apathy toward yours truly and toward the prospect of a relationship.”

“Some people might think that way,” you say with a shrug, “But just because you don’t have as much experience as some other people might, it doesn’t mean you should be overlooked.”

“Despite your efforts to bolster my confidence, I do not believe Rosita sees things in a similar light,” Eugene informs you, “In fact, I believe Rosita sees my severe lack of experience as a fault.”

“Oh, come on,” you say nudging his arm, “You’re making it sound like you’ve never even kissed a girl.”

“That would be correct,” Eugene confirms.

“You’re kidding,” you chuckle.

“I most certainly am not,” Eugene refutes, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

“Oh, God, Eugene, I’m so sorry,” you say, your laughter dying, “I didn’t think you were being serious. I didn’t mean to upset you, please forgive me.” You feel terrible for having upset and embarrassed him.

“You are forgiven,” Eugene mumbles, still refusing to look at you. There’s a long moment of silence as you try to think of something to say.

“You know, not having been kissed, it’s not that bad, really,” you tell him, finally breaking the silence, “If Rosita can’t get past something as silly as that, then she doesn’t deserve you in the first place.”

Eugene continues his silence, only speaking when you place your hand against his back in an attempt to comfort him. “Y/N, what would be the probability of you giving a positive response if I were to request a favor of you?” he questions.

“I guess that depends on the favor,” you answer.

“Would you be inclined to instruct me in how to kiss?” he asks.

“Oh, Eugene, I - I’m not sure-” you begin, but Eugene cuts you off.

“You would be compensated for your time and efforts,” he assures you, “I would repay you in any way you deem fit. Though, of course, if you still say no, I will respect that decision; however, I would be thankful if you would assist me in my endeavor.”

“Your first kiss should be special,” you reply, trying to skirt around his request without hurting his feelings, “And it should be with someone you love.” You quickly regret refusing him even though you know that if you so much as kiss him, you’ll be done for.

“While the kiss would be void of romantic feelings for both parties involved, I do not dare to imagine that it would result in anything less than special,” he informs you in his usual monotone, “You are one of my few and best friends. If you would be inclined to assist me, I would be forever grateful to you. Not to mention the fact that I cannot go to anyone else for assistance. You are the only one I trust enough to ask for something relating to this particular, personal matter.” His plea, and his trust in you, makes your heart melt.

“You really want to do this?” you ask, interrupting his rambling.

“Please,” Eugene requests, finally looking up at you with those blue puppy dog eyes, “I don’t want to be the cowardly loser that Rosita knows I am.” How could you say no to that face, even if you wanted to?

“Eugene, you’re neither of those things,” you tell him as you turn your body so that you’re facing him. Eugene sets his book on the sofa beside him as he looks at you in awe.

You cup his cheek as you lean in and press your lips to his. Eugene isn’t quite sure how to respond, but he slowly begins to follow your lead. Your tongue sweeps along his bottom lip and Eugene gasps. You take the opportunity to slip your tongue into his mouth, mapping it out. Eugene groans as you deepen the kiss.

You lose yourself in the kiss, your fingers tangling into his hair. A buzz of excitement runs through your veins and you continue to kiss him even as your heart breaks. There was no going back. You’ve loved him since you’d met him and you know you always will, even if he doesn’t return your feelings; even if he loves Rosita in a way he’ll never love you.

Eugene’s hands hover over your arms, unsure of how to touch you, or if he even should. Slowly, you take hold of his wrists and place his hands on your hips. Eugene squeezes gently, pulling a soft moan from you. The sound only serves to egg him on. His confidence seems to grow and you back off a little to see if he’ll take control of the kiss. As Eugene kisses you, one of his hands slides to the small of your back and he pulls you closer. In the blink of an eye, you’re straddling his lap.

“Y/N,” Eugene mutters against your lips. As he pulls you down against him, you can feel his growing erection beneath you. The feeling brings you back to reality and you know you have to stop things before they go too far. He’d asked you to kiss him, nothing more.

You pull away and break the kiss, leaving Eugene staring at you with wide eyes. “There,” you say as you settle back against the sofa, trying to hide the ache you feel in your chest, “Now you’ve had your first kiss.”

“Was I - did I perform adequately?” Eugene questions.

“You were perfect,” you tell him. Your praise makes Eugene smile.

“I recognize the fact that this is more than I have the right to ask of you, but what would be the probability of you granting me a second favor?” he questions.

“What kind of favor is it?” you ask in return.

“I was hoping that you would be inclined to teach me how to please a woman,” Eugene requests, “I have observed the act before in videos and … such; but for me, hands on experience, so to speak, is often the best method of learning.” He runs his hand nervously through his hair as he awaits your answer.

“When did you get so bold?” you tease him, nudging his arm out of nervousness. His cheeks turn bright red again.

“I acknowledge it is a lot to ask. If you don’t want to help me, I understand,” Eugene says, awkwardly looking away, “I am used to rejection and would never harbor you any ill will if you refuse. Please don’t feel pressured or -”

“Are you absolutely sure you want this … with me?” you question, cutting him off.

“Without a doubt,” Eugene answers, “But only if you are amenable of course. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable because of me.”

This isn’t how you wanted things to be, by any means. You wanted Eugene to love you, not Rosita, but if this is the only way you can be with him, you aren’t sure you have it in you to pass up the opportunity. The fact that Eugene has placed so much trust in you only makes you want to help all the more. Even though you know you’ll likely regret it when everything was said and done, in this moment you want nothing more than to be with him in any way possible.

“I’ll help you, Eugene,” you promise him.

“You will?” he asks, his eyes lighting up, “Thank you, Y/N.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: OMG, you wrote the Eugene fic I requested! Do you know how hard it is to find those? Please, please, please write more parts to the story, especially the smut! AND I would love to see more parts to the Eugene fic you wrote. I can’t wait to read more! AND Please continue the Eugene fic. The world can always use more Eugene! AND 4 more requests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: NSFW, embarrassed!Eugene

“Okay, okay,” you laugh as he nearly squeezes the life out of you, “Just … let’s take this somewhere a little more private, yeah?”

“Of course, whatever you think is best,” Eugene agrees, “I will gladly follow your lead.”

“Come with me,” you instruct as you take his hand in yours. He follows you eagerly as you lead the way to your room.

Part of you knows that doing this will ruin all other men for you, another part doesn’t care. Still another part of you can’t help but think that even if Eugene doesn’t love you, Rosita is in a relationship with Abraham. True, their relationship had been rocky as of late; but as long as they’re still together, Rosita will continue to ignore Eugene and you’ll be the one who’s there for him. It isn’t an ideal or healthy situation, you know that and you aren’t denying it, but being with Eugene is all you care about for the moment.

Pulling him inside, you close the door behind you and lock the bolt to prevent any interruptions. “So,” you prompt, “Where do you want to start?”

“I don’t rightly know,” Eugene says, speaking to the floor as he shuffles his feet, I was hoping that you could guide me, as to prevent my baser instincts from taking control.”

“Okay, we’ll start slowly,” you assure him as you close the distance between the two of you. Cupping his cheek, you raise his gaze to meet your own. His nervousness shows. “If there’s anything you aren’t comfortable with, all you have to do is say so and we’ll stop,” you assure him, “Now, I want you to kiss me again, but this time I want you to take the lead. Is that all right?”

Eugene swallows hard and nods his head. Leaning in, he presses his lips to yours. You thread your fingers through his hair and place your free hand against his chest, but Eugene keeps his hands to himself. The lack of his touch is frustrating to say the least.

“Eugene,” you mutter against his lips, “You have permission to touch me.” As if by default, his hands land on your hips. “Anywhere you want,” you add.

Eugene stops in his tracks and breaks the kiss. “Anywhere?” he asks.

“Anywhere,” you confirm. Eugene swallows hard and he watches you for a moment as if trying to decide whether or not you’re playing a cruel trick on him. His right hand tentatively slides up your side, his touch feather light. He stops when his hand reaches your ribs as if he’s waiting for your permission to go further.

You decide to give him a nudge in the right direction. Taking hold of his wrist, you bring his hand to your breast. Eugene looks at you with wide eyes as you press your hand to the back of his, showing him just how you want to be touched. You’re dying to peel away the layers of clothing between the two of you and feel his large, calloused hands on your skin.

Reaching up again, you thread your fingers into his hair and pull him in for another kiss. Eugene seems more confident this time. His tongue flicks against your bottom lip and you easily grant him access, allowing him to take control as his tongues dances with your own. The hand he has on your hip slides to the small of your back and he pulls you tighter against him. You moan as you feel his arousal pressed against you.

Eugene’s other hand slides from your breast up to the nape of your neck. Tilting your head to the side, you allow him to deepen the kiss. As you kiss him, you let one hand travel down Eugene’s body. You palm him through his cargo shorts, earning a groan from him. He’s already rock hard and you stroke him gently, wishing he would ask you to take things further. Eugene moans your name against your lips, his hands fisting into your clothes and hair as his hips buck forward.

“Eugene,” you begin between kisses, “You can undress me if you want; or I can undress you if you’d prefer; or -” With one hand, you pop open the top button of his shirt and run your fingers teasingly across the exposed skin as you speak.

“I, um,” he stammers, interrupting you as he pulls away, “Would it be all right if I were to retain my current wardrobe, as much as possible, throughout the duration of our … lesson?” Moving away from you, he looks down at his feet again and begins to play with the hem of his shirt. He pulls the shirt as low as he can, trying to hide his arousal as if he’s embarrassed or ashamed.

“If you’re more comfortable that way, then it’s alright,” you tell him. He interrupts you before you get the chance to reassure him further.

“I know that you’re going out of your way to help me and I want you to at least enjoy yourself while you’re suffering through my inexperience,” Eugene explains.

“Eugene,” you say gently, “I’m hardly suffering. I haven’t been with anyone in a while and I’m just as excited about this as you are.”

“I highly doubt that,” Eugene mutters more to himself than to you.

“Do you really think I would enjoy myself any less because you’re shirtless?” you ask him, concerned that he might actually believe that’s true.

“There is a high likelihood given the fact that I lack the preferred physique of men like Abraham, Rick, or Daryl,” Eugene answers.

“They aren’t the end-all-be-all of what a man should be,” you inform him as you cup his cheek and raise his gaze to meet yours, “Besides, for some girls, Abraham, Rick, and Daryl just aren’t their type. Personally, I think you’re perfect, Eugene, just as you are and anyone who can’t see that is an idiot.”

“Y-you do?” he asks. He seems taken aback by your confession.

“I do,” you confirm. He hesitates for a moment, biting his bottom lip. You can see the wheels turning in his mind as he thinks over what you’d just said. “What if I undress for you first?” you offer, “And then you can decide whether or not you want to undress too.”

“I would appreciate that,” he confesses. You give him a smile and lean in for a quick kiss before pushing him back gently and encouraging him to sit at the edge of your bed.

Eugene looks up at you from where he sits, nervously fidgeting as if he isn’t quite sure what he should be doing with his hands. You give him a reassuring smile as you begin undressing yourself, revealing more skin button by button. When you let your shirt fall to the floor, Eugene’s eyes travel over your curves, taking in every inch of your exposed body. You feel almost shy under his gaze and wish you could hide the scars you’d gained since the start of the apocalypse. Eugene, however, doesn’t seem to notice what you consider to be imperfections; or if he does, he appreciates them all the same.

Kicking off your shoes and toeing off your socks, you begin unbuckling your belt and opening the front of your jeans. You swivel your hips as you push your pants down, Eugene watching your every move. He watches as you walk to your dresser and return with a box of condoms. Placing the box on your nightstand, you turn your attention back to Eugene.

You push your panties down and kick them to the side before reaching behind you and unhooking your bra. Eugene wets his lips and fists his hands into the sheets on either side of his body as if he’s trying to keep from touching himself.

“You are truly and undeniably the most beautiful woman I have ever had the good fortune to lay eyes on,” Eugene tells you.

“You’re just saying that,” you laugh in order to brush off the compliment.

“I’m saying it because it’s irrefutably true,” Eugene replies.

“Thank you, Eugene,” you say softly. His compliment had been completely unexpected and you can feel your cheeks heating up.

“You’re welcome,” he replies. He swallows hard as you close the distance between the two of you and move to straddle his lap. His hands instantly find their way to the small of your back. “Is the invitation to touch you anywhere I want still open?” he questions.

“Yes,” you laugh, “May I unbutton your shirt? I’d like to touch you too, if that’s okay.”

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” he gives you permission.

As you begin opening his shirt one button at a time, Eugene’s hands begin to explore your body. He squeezes your ass before one hand moves up to cup your breast again. His fingers are calloused and rough against your soft skin. You love the feeling of his large hands mapping out each and every inch of you, and you can’t help but imagine what it would feel like to have his fingers inside you. The thought makes you moan softly.

“Does that feel good?” Eugene asks, genuinely curious, but the way he says those words has heat pooling in your core.

“Really good,” you say as encouragement. Eugene smiles as if he’s proud of himself for having given you a small amount of pleasure. You arch your back, pressing your breast firmly into his hand. In response Eugene rolls your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, pulling another moan from your lips.

Leaning in, you press kisses down his neck and across his now exposed chest, eliciting a small gasp from him. Reaching down between you, you palm him through his cargo shorts and earn a small whimper. “Do you like that?” you ask teasingly.

“Very much,” Eugene responds, his hips lifting from the bed slightly. You continue to stroke him, his cock straining against the material of his shorts. “Please, I -,” Eugene stammers, “If you don’t - Y/N, I need you to – Y/N, stop!”

You quickly pull your hand away from him, but before you get the chance to back away, Eugene’s hands are on your hips again. He isn’t rough enough to hurt you, but his actions are forceful as he moves you from his lap and onto the bed beside him. Eugene turns his back to you, not saying a word, his elbows resting on his thighs and his face buried in his hands.

“Eugene, what’s wrong?” you question, gaining no response, “Eugene, please tell me what happened.” He flinches away from you when you place a hand on his back. Hesitantly, you pull your hand away from him. You want nothing more than to comfort him, but you aren’t sure how to do it.

“Nothing,” he informs you curtly as he begins to re-button his shirt.

“Genie, I’m sorry if I hurt you,” you apologize, “Or if I took things too far.”

“You didn’t,” he says, “You are entirely not at fault and the blame is on me.” He stands from the bed, still refusing to face you.

“Eugene, wait,” you plead, grabbing his wrist before he’s out of reach, “Please tell me what happened. Is it because I’m not Rosita?”

“It isn’t that,” Eugene assures you, “It’s just … I’m not sure I want to say. I should return to my quarters before I embarrass myself any further.”

“Oh,” you say softly as you realize what had happened, “Eugene, it’s perfectly natural. You don’t have to be embarrassed by it.”

“I feel like a horny teenager with his hand and a sock and complete lack of control over his own body,” Eugene says, “You barely even touched me and I couldn’t stop myself. This isn’t how losing your virginity is supposed to go. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

“Wait a minute,” you say. He tries to walk away again, but you grip his wrist tighter and pull him back. Eugene gives a frustrated sigh, as he slumps down onto the bed beside you. There’s a wet spot on the front of his shorts and he does his best to hide the spot with his free hand. “You didn’t waste my time,” you tell him, “There’s nothing bad or wrong about what happened. You were excited and that’s okay. I’m excited too.” Reaching down for your shirt, you pull it on and wrap it tight around your body to cover yourself up, hoping to make him more comfortable.

“Maybe,” Eugene says, “But you didn’t cum all over yourself before we truly got to any action.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed about,” you tell him, “Hell, frankly I take it as a compliment.”

“What angle could you possibly be observing this from to see it as a compliment?” Eugene asks, clearly not believing you.

“Well,” you begin, “You were so excited by me and the thought of being with me that you couldn’t control yourself. All I had to do was touch you to get you all hot and bothered. It’s a boost to my ego, really.”

“And a blow to mine,” Eugene responds.

“Eugene, I know that what you’ve seen in movies and read in books all says that your first time is supposed to be this perfect and magical experience, but that just isn’t how things are in real life,” you tell him, “Sometimes it’s awkward and it doesn’t go exactly the way you planned it in your head, but that’s okay. I said I would help you and that’s exactly what I plan to do, no matter how long you need; and not a second of my time will be wasted.”

“Thank you for being so patient with me,” Eugene says shyly, “I’m thankful that you agreed to help me. I’m not sure that others, Rosita included, would be so kind.”

“I’m sure she would be,” you reply, lying through your teeth. You know just how impatient and hurtful Rosita can be, especially to Eugene, but he’s too blinded by his feelings for her to see it. You can’t bring yourself to tell him and break his heart.

Caressing his cheek, you coax his gaze back toward you. Leaning in, you rest your forehead against his and let your eyes fall shut. One of Eugene’s hands finds its way to the nape of your neck, fingers tangling into your hair.

“Are you sure you are still inclined to help me, even after … this?” he questions.

“Absolutely certain,” you reply. Eugene presses his lips to yours as if he’s trying to thank you, taking you by surprise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Dear God, please write more parts to “probability.” I can’t wait for the Reader and Eugene to get to the real action!!! AND Awe, poor Eugene, please write another part to Probability so we can make Eugene feel better 😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut, oral, language

After helping Eugene clean himself up, you coax him into bed with you. You’d managed to get him to leave off all of his clothes, save for his boxers, and now he lies beside you on his back. He stares up at the ceiling as his fingers tug restlessly at the hem of the sheets. Eugene seems to calm down as you settle in beside him and wrap him up in your arms. He rests his head against your chest as you card your fingers through his hair. His arm drapes over your waist and pulls you in close as he snuggles up against you.

“I find it necessary to apologize again for my prematurity earlier,” Eugene says, “Y/N, if there is anything I can do to make up for the lack of satisfaction I provided you with, please inform me and I will most certainly do my best to accomplish the task.”

“Eugene,” you begin, “Like I said before, there’s no need to apologize. We can listen to music for a little while, or I’ve got some comics we could read until you’re ready to try again; or, if you wanted to, you could practice kissing some more.” Eugene turns his head to look up at you as you cup his cheek.

“I would greatly enjoy that,” Eugene answers. Leaning in, you press your lips to Eugene’s. One of his hands comes up to cup the nape of your neck, the other grasping your waist tight. Eugene’s confidence seems to grow with every passing second. You hum into the kiss as Eugene coaxes you to lie above him. His hands travel the length of your body, slipping beneath your shirt and confidently exploring every inch of you that he can reach. He doesn’t shy away from even your most gruesome scars, his fingers ghosting over them as he caresses you.

Eugene whimpers as you bite his bottom lip gently before breaking the kiss for air. He looks at you with wide, excited eyes. “Y/N, if I may be so bold, might I propose a means of providing you with the satisfaction that I deprived you of earlier?” Eugene requests.

“What might you be proposing?” you ask teasingly as you run your hand through his mullet.

“I was wondering if I could … if you would allow me to attempt to perform the act of oral sex on you,” Eugene requests, his shyness returning. His cheeks burn bright red as he tries to avoid your gaze. You aren’t sure if he’s embarrassed or if he’s afraid you’ll reject his offer.

“You want to eat me out?” you ask, a grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Affirmative,” he answers, “Or at least I would like to try, if you’d allow me to. I have conducted research on the topic in the past and while I do not believe myself to be an expert by any means, I do believe that I can put what I’ve learned to good use. Of course, I will likely require your guidance in order to optimally meet your personal needs and desires, but I will gladly follow your lead. I know this wasn’t what we agreed upon, but if you trust me enough and would be willing -”

“Eugene, stop,” you cut him off, as you cup his face between your hands and force him to look at you, “Of course I trust you. If there’s anything you want to try all you have to do is ask, and trust me, I’ll let you know if I’m not into it; but you don’t have to explain yourself, not to me. I know this is your first time trying any of this and I can hardly expect you to be an expert in something you’ve never experienced. That’s what practice is for, right?” Eugene swallows hard and nods in agreement. “Now, what are your instincts telling you to do?” you ask. Eugene begins to speak again, but you place a finger to his lips and cut him off before he gets the chance, “I don’t want you to tell me; I want you to show me.”

As if your instruction has flipped a switch inside him, Eugene’s hands grasp your hips and he turns you onto your back. He cages you beneath him, his lips instantly capturing yours in a deep an passionate kiss. Eugene’s sudden burst of confidence excites you and you wrap your leg around his waist, pulling him tighter against you. He groans as you drag your nails lightly down his back.

Eugene breaks the kiss and begins leaving kisses down your neck. His hands shake slightly as he unbuttons your shirt and begins leaving kisses along your now exposed collarbone. They’re sloppy and a bit haphazard, but you still love every second of it. When he reaches the swell of your breast, he pauses. His beautiful blue eyes flick up to watch your reaction as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, giving you just a hint of those baser instincts he had mentioned earlier.

Your back arches from the bed, egging him on. Reaching out for his hand, you guide it to your other breast and give him further encouragement. Eugene gets the hint. He kneads your breast and rolls your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. You moan his name, threading your fingers into his hair as he licks, sucks, and kisses. He hums in response as you tug his hair gently.

Eugene takes his sweet time, leaving kisses across the valley between your breasts before treating your second breast as he had the first. Finally, he begins leaving kisses lower and lower on your body. He takes every opportunity to worship each and every inch of you with his hands or mouth. You know this is simply practice for him, but a part of you can almost pretend that Eugene actually has feelings for you; that he’s doing this out of love for you and not because he wants to learn to please Rosita.

He pushes down the sheets as he goes, making sure to give himself a full view of your body. His hands slide down your legs, encouraging you to spread them for him, which you willingly do. Eugene pauses, swallowing hard before looking up to meet your gaze. “Would you … would you prefer it if I attempt to tease you, or if I get straight to the act?” Eugene asks.

“A little teasing never hurt anyone,” you tell him, making him smile. His gaze flicks down as he leans in and presses kisses down one thigh and up the other, his stubble scratching at your delicate skin. Eugene’s hands grasp your hips, holding you down against the bed as you writhe. You moan as he kisses closer and closer to your core, your hand tugging his hair harder. He whimpers as you tug, the action seeming to spur him on.

“You’re so wet,” Eugene murmurs with wide eyed excitement. He eagerly guides your legs over his shoulders, his eyes flicking up to watch you as he finally leaves a long lick along your entrance with the flat of his tongue. His nose nudges your clit and he hums at the taste of you, the vibrations going straight to your core.

“Eugene,” you moan, your head tipping back against the pillows, “That feels so good, don’t stop.” One of his hands slides from your hip and takes hold of your free hand, fingers intertwining with yours. The intimacy of the action surprises you, but he doesn’t give you long to contemplate it. He draws your attention to other things as he licks and kisses your folds, drawing soft moans from you.

He’s sloppy and clearly inexperienced, but so very, very eager. You’re about to give him instructions on how to take things further, but he cuts you off when he sucks your clit between his lips. A string of curses roll off your tongue as he sucks, his tongue flicking the tiny bundle of nerves. His other hand slides from your hip and moves down between your legs. Using his fingers, he parts your pussy lips and eases his tongue inside you.

You squeeze his hand and pull his hair as your back arches from the bed. “Fuck, that feels good,” you tell him, trying to bolster his confidence. Eugene’s tongue explores you as deeply as he can, swirling inside you. Tugging his hair, you wordlessly guide him to where you want him most. A knot begins to form in the pit of your stomach, your walls fluttering around his tongue. Lifting your hips from the bed, you grind yourself against his mouth. Eugene hums, encouraging you to continue.

“I want to feel your fingers inside me,” you moan your confession, “Please.” Eugene stops his ministrations and pulls his tongue from you. He watches you in awe as he obediently slides his middle finger inside you.

“Like this?” Eugene questions. He’s timid, waiting for your instructions.

“That’s a good start,” you encourage him, “Now just move your finger in and out.” Eugene obediently begins pumping his finger in and out of you. His calloused fingertip drags along your g-spot and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep a loud moan from escaping your lips. “Add another finger,” you instruct, Eugene obliging, “And curl them. Yes, Eugene, just like that.”

Without even telling him, his lips return to your clit. He laves his tongue over the sensitive bud before sucking gently, sending an extra jolt of pleasure through you. It’s almost as if he can’t keep his mouth off of you.

With each if his movements, he brings you closer and closer to climax. You lift your hips in time with him, the knot in your stomach reaching the snapping point and your walls pulling tight. One last curl of Eugene’s fingers against your g-spot has you tumbling over the edge.

“Eugene!” you moan just a little too loudly. Untangling your hand from his hair, you bite down on your fist to quiet the sounds you make. Pleasure courses through you as your walls clamp down around his fingers, your body shuddering. You squeeze his hand tight as you writhe against the bed, the heels of your feet pressed against his back.

Eugene props himself up, watching you with an awestruck expression as if he can’t believe that he was the one to bring you so much pleasure. “I don’t believe I have ever seen anything so hot,” Eugene mutters. Before you get the chance to respond, Eugene pulls his fingers from you and eagerly laps up everything you have to give him.

He slides your legs from his shoulders and sits up on his knees. You watch as he brings his fingers to his lips and sucks them clean. “Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You let your eyes wander over his body, only stopping when you notice the bulge in the front of his boxers. He’s rock hard again. “You weren’t kidding,” you tease him as you move to kneel before him, “You really have done your research.”

“I was satisfactory then?” Eugene asks you.

“Satisfactory?” you question, “You’re kidding, right?” Cupping his face between your hands, you run your thumbs across his cheeks. “Eugene, that was amazing. You’re a natural!” Your praise makes his face light up.

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try,” Eugene says, making you laugh.

“You’re the only man who’s ever eaten me out and thanked me afterward,” you tell him, making him blush profusely, “You know, I think I should be the one to thank you by returning the favor.”

“Y-you mean …” Eugene stammers. Drawing your bottom lip between your teeth, you nod in affirmation. “Y/N, I don’t want you to feel obligated to perform an act such as that. Just because I performed oral sex on you does not mean that I expect you to do the same for me. I did it because I wanted to, not because I wanted a blow job in return.”

“Eugene, I want to,” you stop him, “If you’ll let me. May I?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Dear God, please write another part to Probability. I’d love to see the reader ‘repay the favor”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut, oral, language

“Y-you actually want to?” Eugene asks. The concept of anyone, let alone you, actually wanting to be with him in this way is a puzzle he can’t seem to piece together. His look of confusion breaks your heart.

“Yes,” you answer, “But not because I feel like I owe you or anything like that… I just want to, if it’s okay.” There’s more to it than just basic desire, but now isn’t the time to bring up your feelings for him. “Eugene?” you ask prompting him for an answer.

Eugene swallows hard, his jaw clenching tight as he nods. “Just tell me what to do,” Eugene tells you.

“Come sit at the edge of the bed,” you instruct. Taking his hands, you guide him to where you want him as you stand from the bed. He sits with his legs dangling over the edge of your bed, clearly unsure of what to do with himself as he waits for further instruction.

You take the time to remove your already open shirt, leaving you completely naked, before parting Eugene’s legs and moving to stand between them. His hands are on you in a second, his lips pressing kisses across your stomach and hips. “Unh-uh,” you chide him as you cup his cheek and force him to look up at you, “It’s my turn.”

His pupils are dilated and his breaths are shallow. You run your thumb along his cheek before leaning in and pressing your lips to his, the kiss slow and gentle. One of Eugene’s hands finds its way to the small of your back, desperately pulling you in closer. You can tell he’s craving the feeling of your body against his. He’s never been touched this way before and now he can’t seem to get enough.

Finally, you break the kiss and begin leaving kisses along his stubbled jaw. He whimpers when you brush his hair back with your fingertips and kiss the sweet spot just behind his ear. You suck his earlobe between your lips and draw it out between your teeth before continuing to leave kisses down the side of his neck.

“Y/N,” he whispers softly as you let your fingers trail down his chest, “I’m not sure I can withstand any further teasing. If my prematurity earlier is any indication, I won’t be able to last very long and I’d prefer it if I didn’t have another occurrence of the aforementioned variety.”

“We can work on that,” you assure him as you kiss lower and lower on his body, “It’s called edging. I’ll work you right to the edge of climax and just before you cum, I’ll stop and let you calm down before working you up again. It might be frustrating, but it’ll be worth it in the end. Is that something you’d like to try?”

Eugene hesitates for a moment before stammering his answer, “A-afirmative.” He shudders as your hands travel lower, one of them brushing over the tent he’s pitching.

“Can I take these off?” you question as you slip two fingers of your other hand into the waistband of his boxers. In answer, Eugene lifts his hips from the bed and you take the opportunity to pull the material down to his ankles.

You moan as his cock springs free, swollen and glistening with precum. Eugene looks at you with a pleading expression, his hands fisting into the sheets on either side of him as if he’s holding on for dear life. You aren’t done teasing him yet, however. Eugene whimpers as you lightly run your fingers along the underside of his cock from base to tip. You run your thumb across his leaking slit, collecting the precum that’s beaded there. His eyes grow even darker with lust as he watches you bring your thumb to your lips and suck it clean, moaning at the salty taste.

“Y/N, I meant what I said,” Eugene warns you, “Just seeing you like this combined with the notion of you on your knees in front of me is enough to make me cum right here and now.” He squirms as he speaks.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you,” you assure him. He watches with wide eyed anticipation as you sink to your knees before him.

You start by running your hands up his thighs as you settle between his legs. Leaning in, you let your lips follow your fingers. You want to worship each and every inch of him, just as he had with you, but you can tell this is torture for him. Instead of making him wait any longer, you wrap one hand around his thick cock and stroke him slowly. He’s heavy in your hand and he’s already throbbing with the need for release.

Eugene whimpers as you pump your hand over his shaft, using his precum as lubricant. His hands fist tighter into the sheets. You can tell he’s struggling to stay still and it isn’t long before he tells you he can’t hold back any longer. In response, you move your hand to the base of his cock and squeeze just hard enough to stave off his orgasm. Eugene bites down on his bottom lip, trying to hold back his whimpers as you deny him the climax he’s craving.

“Ready to go again?” you ask.

“Please, Y/N,” he answers.

“Alright, just remember, if you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so,” you remind him. Eugene nods in understanding. His hips rock toward your hand, eager for more. Before you continue, however, you use your free hand to ease one of his hands from the sheets. You intertwine your fingers with his, just as he had with you.

You begin stroking him slowly again, all the way from base to tip. Leaning in, you take one of his testicles between your lips, sucking gently and teasing him with your tongue. Eugene gasps at the unfamiliar sensation and his eyes squeeze shut. You half expect to hear Rosita’s name fall from his lips, but it’s your own name you hear; you know it doesn’t really mean anything, but it’s a small victory none the less.

Next, you begin leaving butterfly kisses and kitten licks up the underside of his shaft. He mutters your name, the sound spurring you on as heat pools in your core. Looking up at him through your lashes, you press the flat of your tongue against his leaking tip. Eugene shudders as you lick him clean. His hips buck toward you, silently begging you for more. You continue to lick, kiss, and stroke him, never fully taking him between your lips; you wanted to save that for your final act.

His climax builds again and you deny him just as you had before. After giving him a moment to recover, you pick up your ministrations right where you’d left off. You work him up again and again, denying him each time, until he’s begging you to let him cum.

“Please, Y/N,” he begs, “I need you to let me cum, I don’t believe I can stand this any longer. I feel like I’m about to explode.” The way he squirms and pleads makes you smile.

You leave one last, long lick following the vein on the underside of his cock before taking his tip between your lips. “Fuck me,” Eugene moans as you suck gently. You’d never heard him use such obscenities and it’s like music to your ears. One of his hands instinctively moves to the back of your head and his fingers twist into your hair. Even as his hand fists at the back of your head, he’s gentle with you; careful not to pull your hair or push your head down too hard.

You watch him through your lashes as you slowly take more and more of him into the wet heat of your mouth. His jaw clenches tight as his head falls back. You tease the underside of his cock with your tongue as you bob your head up and down. He moans as you take him in as deep as you can. Your actions draw a gasp from him.

“Y/N,” he moans, “Don’t stop… please… you feel so good. . . oh fuck, Y/N, please.”

You suck harder, hollowing your cheeks around him as you pick up your pace. His moans and pleas have you wet all over again. Pressing your thighs together, you try to find some relief for the aching in your core. You fondle his balls, earning another string of pleas and obscenities. He’s swollen and throbbing for release.

“Please,” he moans, “I’m so close … I … oh, Y/N!” Eugene shouts your name as his cock pulses in your mouth. He instantly regrets the sound and untangles his hand from your hair so that he can cover his mouth. You almost wish someone had heard, Rosita in particular.

You hum at the salty taste of his cum as he spills himself across your tongue and down your throat. Eugene squeezes your hand tight as his body shudders. You continue to suck and lick, milking him for all he’s worth as you swallow down every drop. He pants as you work him through his high, his chest heaving. After giving him a moment to recover, you pull off him with a loud pop.

“Y/N, that was truly mind blowing,” Eugene pants, “I’ve never experienced anything like it, nor have I ever cum so hard.”

“You enjoyed it then?” you ask with a smile as you return to your feet before him. His arms wrap around your waist and pull you in close.

“More than I can even hope to describe,” Eugene answers. He pulls you in for a kiss and you’re sure he can taste himself on you lips, but he doesn’t seem to mind. His tongue explores your mouth as he deepens the kiss, his hand threading into your hair.

“So, what do you want to try next?” you ask as you break the kiss for air.

“I’m not entirely sure my body could handle any further activities in my current state,” Eugene mutters. He looks away as if he’s embarrassed.

“That’s okay,” you assure him as you card your fingers through his hair, “We can stop there for now and pick up where we left off some other time.”

“I would greatly appreciate that,” Eugene tells you. The idea clearly excites him. “Would it be alright if I spent the night in your room?”

“Of course,” you answer. It wasn’t like you’d never slept in the same room together before. Falling asleep in Eugene’s room while watching a movie on the TV he’d fixed up was a common occurrence for you; either that or he’d wind up spending the night in your room after reading comics for hours on end. If he spent the night with you, no one would suspect a thing.

Eugene smiles as you guide him beneath the sheets beside you. He’s definitely a cuddler, not that you mind. Being wrapped up in his arms and his warmth is comforting. “Thank you,” Eugene says again as he snuggles up against you.

“You really don’t have to keep thanking me,” you remind him, “I’m happy to help.”

“I do though,” Eugene refutes, “My words of thanks are just the tip of the iceberg of what you deserve. Most people treat me like I’m a burden, but not you. You’re a good friend, Y/N, better than I deserve. By doing this, you’re going out of your way to help me; and even if I am your friend, engaging in sexual activity with someone you aren’t attracted to must be trying. Therefore, I believe that you deserve my thanks in every way I can offer.”

Eugene’s hand comes up to cup your cheek and he pulls you in for a kiss. Your eyes flutter shut as you melt into the feeling. You hug him tighter, wishing you’d never have to let him go. If only Eugene knew how you really felt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Part 5 Of probability please My heart melted at this entire series 💙 AND I love Probability, could you please write more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of smut, angst

Nearly a week had passed since your first night with Eugene and he’d managed to find his way to your room every night since. The two of you hadn’t gone beyond hand jobs, fingering, and oral, but Eugene seemed happy to take his time and perfect his technique. You were more than happy to oblige, especially since he hadn’t even mentioned Rosita to you since you’d started your secret rendezvous. It’s only a matter of time before Eugene tries his luck with Rosita, you aren’t denying that. There is no avoiding the fact that you are merely a replacement until he can be with her, but you’re determined to enjoy each and every second you get with him.

Even now, as you stand at the top of the guard tower, you can see Eugene watching Rosita. You’re supposed to be watching out for walkers, of course, but that doesn’t mean you can’t sneak a peek here and there. With a heavy sigh, you lean against the railing of the guard tower and look out at your surroundings. Not so long ago, you were out there on your own, fighting for your life.

It was Eugene who had found you. You had gotten separated from your group and none of them had come to find you. A heard followed you and backed you into a corner with no hope of escape, but you continued to fight for your life anyway. After Eugene had spotted you, Abraham and Rosita charged in, guns blazing, and saved you. When you’d asked why they saved you and let you join their group, Eugene had said it was because they admired your bravery and that they could use another strong teammate to carry out their mission. You had hoped Eugene had wanted more than just another teammate, but you quickly learned of the feelings he had been harboring for Rosita. Soon after, you ran into Glenn and Tara. Then there was Terminus, and, well, everything else that had led up to the group’s current residency in Alexandria.

Looking back to check on Eugene, you see him talking with Abraham. Things had been strained between them after Eugene revealed that he had been a high school teacher instead of a scientist with the cure for the apocalypse. Abraham had even gone so far as to beat Eugene for it. It has taken time, but the two of them seem to have worked past their differences. Rosita, however, still hasn’t forgiven Eugene and she lets it show in the way she talks to him. You were never angry with him for lying; you only saw a man doing his best to survive in this new world. Perhaps even giving Abraham and Rosita a mission had helped to keep them alive. You know exactly where you’d be if it weren’t for Eugene.

The sound of someone climbing the ladder to your guard tower pulls you out of your thoughts. “Hi, Y/N,” Aaron says as he moves to stand beside you.

“Hey, Aaron,” you answer with a smile, “You’re not here to replace me are you? My shift isn’t over for another half hour.”

“I thought you might want some company,” Aaron says, “I just wanted to talk, but I can take over if you need me to. I heard your boyfriend needs help with a radio he’s trying to fix. I don’t mind taking your shift if you want to go help him.”

“Boyfriend?” you laugh, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You mean you and Eugene aren’t together?” he asks, to which you shake your head ‘no,’ “Huh, it just seemed like… sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“No worries,” you tell him, shrugging off his comment, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“The usual,” he answers, “How you’re feeling about living here, if there are any frustrations you have, if there’s anything we can do to make you feel more comfortable?”

“Why ask me?” you question, “I’m not the leader of my group.”

“You don’t have to be a leader to be important,” Aaron tells you, “You’re here, and you’re a part of Alexandria now. Your feelings are just as important as everyone else’s; so, how is Alexandria treating you?”

“Well,” you begin, “Having a bed to go home to at night is a welcome change. Hell, getting to say that I have a home at all after everything that’s happened is amazing.”

“But?” Aaron presses.

“But I have to admit that I’m going a little stir crazy here,” you tell him, “I’ve gotten so used to being out there that having these walls around me makes me feel trapped. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to being part of a community like this. I’m not used to being around so many people and I’m not entirely sure I fit in with them. Plus I just feel so useless here, standing guard, but never actually doing anything. When I was out there, I had a purpose.”

“What you’re doing is very important,” Aaron reminds you, “You’re keeping the community safe; but, I have to admit that I understand how you feel. Eric and I, we’re sort of outsiders ourselves. You know, if being cooped up in here ever gets to be too much, you’re always welcome to join me on a run.”

“Really?” you question.

“Sure,” he answers, “I saw how you fought when you were confronted with walkers. I trust you to be able to handle yourself out there and to have my back.”

“Thanks, I’d love to join you sometime,” you say.

“I’m looking forward to it,” he assures you, “Oh, before I go, Deanna tasked me with inviting your group to another one of her get-togethers. Everyone’s invited.”

“Will you and Eric be there?” you question.

“Probably not,” Aaron admits, “Outsiders, remember?”

“Oh, well, I’ll see you around then?” you ask, disappointed that you wouldn’t see him at the party. Aaron and Eric were two of the few members of Alexandria who had gone out of their way to make you feel welcome.

“I’ll let you know when I plan on heading out again. Maybe you can come with me,” he says as he begins climbing back down the ladder of the guard tower. You watch for a moment as Aaron walks up to where Abraham and Eugene are standing, likely inviting them to the party as well.

***

After your shift on guard duty, you head home to find Tara talking Eugene into attending the party. When she finally gets him to agree, her attention shifts to you. “Fine,” you concede, “But I need to get cleaned up first.” Honestly, you’d only agreed to go because of Eugene.

You shower, throw on clean undergarments along with a fresh pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, and brush out your hair, letting it air dry as much as possible before heading downstairs. Tara and Eugene are already in the living room, waiting for you.

“Ready to go?” Tara asks.

“Yeah, but where are Abraham and Rosita?” you question, noting their absence.

“They have already moseyed over to Deanna’s residence,” Eugene informs you.

“I guess we should head over too then,” you suggest.

You can hear the soft murmur of a crowd as you near Deanna’s home. The lights inside cast shadows of partygoers through the curtains of the windows. “I’ll catch up with you later,” Tara says, giving you a fist bump before walking off to join Denise. This leaves you with a very uncomfortable Eugene. Social situations like this aren’t his strong suit and it shows.

“Genie, why don’t you go save us a couple of spots on the couch over there and I’ll grab us some drinks?” you offer. Eugene gives you a thankful look and heads off to grab the seats you’d indicated.

You head over to the drink station to grab a couple of beers, hoping to quickly get back to Eugene’s side, but having no such luck. You feel a hand on your shoulder as someone tries to squeeze between you and the person behind you. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Spencer,” a man says as he moves to stand beside you. He holds out his hand.

“Y/N,” you respond, smiling while shaking his hand to be polite even though you’re itching to get back to Eugene, “You’re Deanna’s son, right?”

“That’s right,” he answers, “So, how are you liking Alexandria?”

“You know, that’s the second time I’ve been asked that today,” you tell him, “You guys are really big on the hospitality around here.”

“We wouldn’t want to seem like bad hosts,” Spencer replies with a smile, “Speaking of which, I was going to hang out with a couple of friends. I can introduce you to them if you want to join us.”

“Oh, actually, I have someone waiting for me,” you say, holding up the two beers as if they’re evidence, “Maybe some other time though.”

“Of course,” Spencer says, “I don’t want to keep you from your friends.”

“I’ll see you around,” you tell him. He answers in kind before you head back to where Eugene is waiting, or at least where he should have been waiting. Now Abe and Rosita are in the spots Eugene had reserved.

“Have you seen Eugene?” you ask them.

“He left sulking,” Rosita informs you.

“Helpful,” you comment, “Any clue where he went?”

“He went that way,” Abe tells you, “I think he muttered something about goin’ outside to get some air.”

“Thanks, Abe,” you say before heading off in the direction he’d indicated. You find Eugene sitting on the steps of the front porch. His elbows rest on his knees and his chin rests in his hands. He looks up at you when he hears your footsteps.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks, “I assumed you would remain inside to enjoy the festivities and social interactions with the individuals from Alexandria.”

“I could ask you the same question,” you say as you sit down beside him and hand him a can of beer, “I thought you were saving us a spot on the couch.”

“I was,” Eugene explains as he turns the can around and around in his hands, “But then you began conversing with Spencer.”

“So?” you press.

“Well, Rosita insinuated that the way he touched your shoulder and the way you smiled at him meant that you were flirting,” Eugene continues, “If the case were such, I was disinclined to stand in the way of any romantic feelings you might have for the man. You deserve to be happy and if you happen to find that happiness with Spencer, then I would never stand in the way.”

“Genie, slow down,” you tell him, “First of all, I wasn’t flirting. Rosita doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Secondly, I certainly don’t have any romantic feelings for the guy. Finally, I’m glad you want me to be happy, but trust me, I wouldn’t be happy with Spencer Monroe. He just isn’t my type.”

“If Spencer isn’t your type, who is?” Eugene asks, “If you divulge to me the type of person you’re interested in, perhaps I can assist you in finding a suitable match. It’s the bare minimum of what I can do for you in return for all that you’ve done for me.”

“I’m not really looking for a relationship right now,” you say.

“Is your type someone like Abraham? Glenn? Maggie? Rick? Daryl? Tara?” he questions, and the list goes on. You shake your head ‘no’ to each name he says. “Who then?” he presses, truly at a loss.

“I’m happy just spending time with you,” you answer truthfully without fully answering his question. There’s a long pause as the wheels turn in his mind.

“D-does that mean I am your preferred type of partner?” he question nervously. You’re so shocked that you’re not sure how to respond. All of Eugene’s attention turns to the drink in his hands as he waits for your answer.

“I mean… if I had to pick a type, I guess… yeah, it would be someone like you,” you admit. Your heart pounds in your chest. Eugene seems to be processing your admission and it takes him a moment before he speaks again.

“You’ll be hard pressed to find someone else like yours truly, especially given the severe lack of people that are likely to have survived the apocalypse,” he finally says. Your heart sinks. “People as intelligent as me are few and far between, even more so given the shit storm we currently find ourselves in. Thought I can’t quite wrap my mind around the concept of someone as cowardly as me being your preferred type, I do believe you may encounter someone with qualities similar to or greater than my own at some point in the future. It may take some time to actually encounter that person…”

Eugene continues on and on, but you lose focus on what he’s saying. Your admission has gone right over his head; either that or he was trying his best to politely tell you that nothing is ever going to happen between the two of you. You can feel your throat tightening as sadness and jealousy swells inside you. It’s obvious now that you haven’t really come to terms with your role in Eugene’s life.

“I think I’m going to go back inside,” you say, cutting him off.

“O-okay,” Eugene says as if you’d just rebuked him. You give him a sad smile before pushing yourself up from the stairs and heading back inside.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: My heart! Please don’t leave Probability that way! AND Damn it Eugene, what were you thinking? Can we please have a part of Probability where Eugene and the reader work things out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst

Three days after Deanna’s party, you’d gone out on a run with Aaron. You’ve been outside the walls for two days now and you’d managed to find a gas station that hasn’t been raided yet. It’s nice to finally escape the confinement of Alexandria, but a part of your mind keeps returning to a particular person that you’d left behind. You’ve barely seen him since you’d left him on the steps on the night of the party, let alone talked to him. The separation is awful. This is exactly why you didn’t want to reveal your feelings for him. Having Eugene as a friend was much better than not having him in your life at all; now it feels like that friendship is ruined.

You try to focus on the task at hand, stuffing your duffle bag full of supplies that you and Aaron had found in the gas station. After having taken out the walkers inside, you walk row by row and snag anything you think you can use. Before long, your duffle bag is full and Aaron’s is too.

“Should we head back to Alexandria?” you ask Aaron as he examines a map he found near the cash register.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Aaron agrees, “According to this map, it looks like there’s a shortcut from here that should get us home in about half a day’s drive if everything goes smoothly. We can load up one of the cars outside with extra gear and hotwire it.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you say, “Let’s go.” Once you’ve settled on a car, you work with Aaron to pack it full with every bit of supplies you can possibly fit inside or tie to the roof. Sitting in the driver’s seat you search in vain for a key, and finally get to work bringing the engine to life, just like Eugene had taught you.

While you work, you notice Aaron going around and examining the license plates on the other cars. You watch him kneel down at the bumper of a dusty red Jeep and remove the license plate before stuffing it into his backpack. The car’s engine finally comes to life, gaining Aaron’s attention. He looks back at you with a smile before pushing himself up from the ground. Scooting over, you take the passenger’s seat so that Aaron can drive. He puts his backpack in the back before settling in the driver’s seat and putting the car in gear.

“Which state did you find?” you ask him, motioning toward the backpack.

“Nevada,” he answers, “Eric and I are getting closer to having all fifty states. Do you collect anything when you go out on runs?”

“Not really,” you answer, “Unless you count jars of pickles or comics for Eugene as a collection.”

“There’s nothing you try to find for yourself?” Aaron asks, “Bobble heads, posters, tacky statues?”

“Since the world went to shit, I never really had a reason to collect anything, let alone a place to keep a collection,” you answer with a shrug, “I find what I need to survive.”

“Survival gear for you and presents for Eugene?” Aaron asks. He gives you a sideways glance as he gauges your reaction. He’d been hinting at the subject on and off throughout the whole run.

“He’s not my boyfriend, if that’s what you’re insinuating. I told you before,” you remind him.

“Okay, but does Eugene know that?” Aaron questions.

“What do you mean?”

“The way he looks at you, let’s just say it’s not exactly platonic. Plus he follows you around like a puppy. He’s by your side nearly every second of the day. Whenever you’re on guard duty, he sets up his workbench so you’re in his line of sight.”

“It’s Rosita he’s looking at, not me. He’s been in love with her long before I even met him.”

“That’s not what I see. I know it can be hard to see things when you’re the one at the center of it all. Sometimes it’s easier when you’re on the outside looking in.”

“How could I ever compare to someone he’s so enamored with?”

“Have you ever told him that you love him?”

“Of course not! Not in those words anyway.”

“Well why not tell him flat out?”

“It isn’t fair to force him to choose between Rosita and me; and I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

“Life is short, more so now than ever. If you love him, doesn’t he deserve to know?”

“I practically told him on the night of the party,” you sigh, “His response was to ponder just how hard it would be for me to find someone like him. I’m his friend, but that’s as far as his interest in me goes. Hell, I’m not sure we’re even friends anymore. He hasn’t said a word to me since that night. If he wanted to be with me, all he had to do was say something, but he didn’t. ”

“Maybe he was just afraid to say anything because he’s afraid of ruining the relationship you have now,” Aaron suggests, “Same as you.”

“Can we talk about something other than my love life, or lack thereof?” you question.

“Sure,” Aaron answers, “But I like to think I’ve gotten pretty good at reading people. Maybe one day you’ll see I’m right.” You roll your eyes, but let the comment slide.

For the rest of the ride back to Alexandria, you talk about finding new ways for you to contribute to the community. You want to make yourself busy, give yourself a project to take your mind off Eugene. Eventually, you mention building a greenhouse. You’d never done it before, but you’re sure you can find a book on the topic. Aaron likes the idea and promises to talk with Deanna about getting you a plot of land to work with.

***

It’s sunset when you finally return to Alexandria. Michonne and Glenn open the gates. As soon as you’re inside, you get to work unloading the car. A few others join in the effort and Olivia begins taking inventory of everything you’ve brought back.

“Y/N, I need to speak with you, urgently,” Eugene’s voice says suddenly from behind you. You’re not sure how long he’d been standing there, but you pass the bag in your hands to Michonne before turning to face Eugene.

“Hi, Eugene,” you say softly, watching the way he shuffles his feet and looks down at the ground, “What’s wrong?”

“Not here,” Eugene says. Reaching out, he takes your wrist in hand and you let him guide you to a more secluded place behind one of the houses.

“What did you want to tell me?” you ask him when you’re finally alone with him.

“Words cannot express how truly sorry I am for the pain and anger I have caused you,” Eugene blurts out, “I’ve been playing our conversation from that night at the party over and over in my mind ever since it happened. I’m not entirely sure what I said to make you angry with me, but I wish that I could take the words back. I value your friendship more than anything in the world and losing it would be worse than the loss of my own life.”

“Eugene, I’m not angry with you,” you tell him, “Why would you think that?”

“You left me sitting on the steps by my lonesome and you’ve avoided me ever since,” he answers, eyebrows knit.

“I thought you were avoiding me,” you say, “I thought that I said too much and it made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for what happened too. I’m sorry that I made you feel like I was avoiding you, and that I was angry with you.”

“Y-you’re not mad at me?” he questions.

“No, I was never mad at you,” you assure him, “Are you angry with-“

“Not even for an instant,” Eugene interrupts, “I missed you, Y/N,” He throws his arms around you and pulls you into a tight hug. He buries his face into the crook of your neck as his hands fist into the back of your shirt.

“I missed you too, Genie,” you tell him, hugging him back.

“You left without saying goodbye,” he mutters as he holds you even closer, “That was the worst part. Please don’t ever leave again without saying goodbye.”

“I won’t, I promise,” you say as you cling to him.

Aaron was right about you. You’re afraid to tell Eugene how you feel because you’re afraid of losing him altogether. If Aaron had been right about your feelings, maybe he’d been right about Eugene’s too.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Please tell me there will be more parts to Probability. I love it so much and I really hope we get to see the relationship develop more between Eugene and the reader because Eugene deserves so much better than Rosita!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst

“I’ve made dinner,” Eugene announces once you’ve gotten home from your meeting with Deanna. She was willing to give you space to build your greenhouse and you’re excited to have something to do other than stand around on guard duty. You look up at the spread Eugene has laid out across the dinner table as you unlace your boots. He’s gone so far as to light candles and find nice china and silverware to use.

“For Rosita?” you venture cautiously.

“I’m not sure Rosita would appreciate the meal I’ve attempted to prepare. We can invite her to join if you want; however the meal was intended solely for you; and I, of course. Unless you prefer to dine on your own, in which case I’ll take my leave,” Eugene says.

“You made this for me?” you question, interrupting his rambling, “Why?”

“Because I had the inclination to,” Eugene responds with a shrug, “Plus I thought it might be a good way to make up for the time we spent avoiding each other … and it might be enjoyable after your long day of work. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course. I just thought it would be nice to spend time together outside the bedroom and away from television screens or the hazards of walkers.”

“I’d love to join you for dinner,” you tell him with a smile. He pulls out a chair for you and you gladly take a seat as he serves you the dinner he’d prepared. You can tell he’s put so much effort and thought into this meal, trying to create something perfect for you even with limited resources. Finally, he takes a seat across from you and waits impatiently for you to take your first bite.

“Do you like it?” he questions before you even get the chance to swallow.

“It’s delicious,” you praise, earning a smile from him, “Thank you for doing this.”

“You’re very welcome. I received the recipe from Carol,” he tells you, “And the cookies she instructed me to bake are currently in the oven.”

“I thought something smelled good,” you reply.

“How was your meeting with Deanna?” he finally asks.

“Great!” you answer excitedly, “She’s dedicating a space for me to build and gathering a team to help me get the materials I need. I guess I just need to design the building itself. I found a gardening book that has a generic blueprint that I can use as a starting point.”

“I would gladly volunteer my intellect and be your head engineer if you require my services,” he offers. Originally, the greenhouse had been intended to be a means of taking your mind off of Eugene, but maybe getting the chance to spend more time with him outside the confines of your room would be better. Perhaps it would give you the chance to suss out his feelings for you.

“Eugene, that would be perfect! Thank you,” you tell him.

“You’re welcome,” he says, “I would be more than happy to help you.” He sits in relative silence, pushing his food around his plate as he prepares to ask his next question. “Y/N, may I ask you something?”

“You already did, but sure, you can ask me another question,” you answer with a teasing smile.

“This is rather random given our previous conversation topic, but I value your opinion,” he begins, “Do you believe it’s possible to be in love with two people at the same time?”

“You’re right, that was random,” you comment.

“I apologize, you don’t have to answer,” he says.

“It depends on the person, I guess. Love is different for everyone,” you answer, “I don’t think I could ever be in love with more than one person, but that’s just me. Why do you ask? Do you think Rosita might be in love with you and Abe?”

“No … maybe … not exactly, but a similar situation to that,” he answers. You knit your eyebrows, trying to figure out exactly what he means. “Have you ever been in love?” he questions.

“Only once,” you reply.

“Pre- or post-apocalypse?”

“Post.”

“Are they still alive?”

“Yes.”

“Then why aren’t you with them?”

“Because he loves someone else.”

“Oh,” Eugene says softly, “I’m sorry. You deserve to be with the person you love. I wish he loved you back.”

“Me too,” you say with a sad smile, wondering if he knows you’re talking about him.

“How did you know you loved him?” is Eugene’s next question.

“Well, like I said, love is different for everyone. For me, it was almost instant. He saved my life, but it was more than just that. He makes me laugh, without even meaning to, and just being around him makes me happy. He’s so smart, and braver than he gives himself credit for. I could see myself having a life with him, even in a world like this. He’s the man I want to fall asleep with and wake up next to. He makes me want to be a better person and he inspires me to live instead of just survive. I love him for all of that and so much more; and I know I’ll never love anyone else the way I love him.”

“He must be a complete and total idiot not to love you back,” Eugene states, “You deserve someone better than him. Someone who cares about you the way you care about him.”

“Maybe,” you say with a shrug. You wonder if he’s figured out who you’re talking about or if it’s all just gone over his head. “Do you think you could ever love more than one person?”

Eugene plays with his food as he ponders your question. “I’m not sure,” he begins, “I think that perhaps I could, but I’m not sure I could love the two individuals in the same way. Is that possible?”

“I think it’s entirely possible, depending on the person,” you tell him. Eugene gives you a half hearted smile, and you can see the wheels turning in his mind as he works something out.

“Y/N, I don’t understand -” he begins, but before he gets the chance to say anything, the door opens. Rosita comes inside, smiling and giggling with Abraham right behind her. She turns and walks backward as she wraps her arms around Abraham, his hands on her waist. Eugene sinks back in his seat, his face turning bright red as the pair walk past. Abraham completely ignores you both, but Rosita glances over and raises her eyebrow at you. You narrow your eyes at her, but she’s already returned her attention to Abraham.

“Eugene, are you all right?” you ask once Rosita and Abraham out of earshot.

“I’m fine,” Eugene says softly. He clearly isn’t.

“Hey, you know-” you begin, but he interrupts you.

“She will never look at me the way she looks at him, will she?” he asks.

“I’m not sure,” you lie, “I’ve never really talked with Rosita about what she looks for in a partner.”

“Maybe I should give up and settle with the fact that she’ll never love me,” Eugene sighs.

“No,” you answer, “You said I deserve to be with the person I love. The same goes for you. You should be with someone you love, not someone you have to settle for.”

You could have told him he was right; that he should resign himself to the fact that he’d never be with Rosita and that he should settle for someone else. You could have taken Aaron’s advice and just told Eugene that you love him. You could have told Eugene to settle for you, but that isn’t what you want. As badly as you want to be with him, you don’t want to be the one who Eugene settles for. You want him to love you the way you love him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Could you please write more to Probability? I really hope Eugene realizes that it’s the reader he loves and not Rosita!!! AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write more to probability. If Eugene doesn’t get over Rosita soon I’m gonna go crazy :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Rosita being abusive to Eugene, mentions of blood, minor physical violence

Thanks to the book you’d found, and to Eugene, you have a basic plan for the greenhouse you want to build. Now all you need are the supplies to build it. Aaron knew of a hardware store nearby that might still have the supplies you’re looking for. He took you there along with several moving trucks and a group to help load them up with the supplies you need. To your surprise, Eugene volunteered to come along. Since coming to Alexandria he hadn’t shown any interest in venturing out unnecessarily, but he invented plenty of reasons he needed to go out on this particular mission. Rosita had volunteered as well. Even though Eugene hadn’t listed her as one of his reasons for coming along, you know she must be; much to your annoyance.

“How big is this greenhouse going to be?” Tara asks you as she helps you carry a wooden beam to one of the trucks.

“Big enough to grow the crops we’ll need through winter,” you answer, “But it really depends on the supplies we can find.” You hoist the beam up to Daryl and Aaron, who are standing in the back of one of the trucks. The two of you are about to head back into the store, but a crashing sound of glass breaking causes you both to stop.

You spin on your heel and reach for the knife on your hip, fully expecting to find walkers lumbering toward the group, but there aren’t any. Relaxing, you sheath your knife. Instead of walkers, you see Rosita and Eugene. Shattered glass litters the ground, spanning the gap between them.

“What the Hell did you do that for?” Rosita shouts, clearly frustrated.

“I didn’t mean to, it slipped out of my hands,” Eugene whimpers. He hunches over as he looks down at the ground. Eugene looks as if he wants to curl up into a ball and hide.

“You don’t ever mean to do anything, do you?” Rosita continues to shout, “You’re a pathetic waste of space, Eugene.”

“Hey, it was just a piece of glass, lay off,” you speak up, “Come on, Eugene, Tara and I can use your help.”

“And you,” Rosita adds, “Always standing up for him. What a waste of time.” You move toward Eugene, wanting to get him out of this situation as quickly as possible, but Rosita gets to him first. She points her finger in his face as she continues to shout at him. “You’re worthless, not to mention a liar and a coward. I don’t know why you’re even here. You would’ve been better off staying back in Alexandria where you can’t get in anyone’s way.”

“I said, lay off,” you repeat as you push her away from Eugene, “Don’t you dare talk to him like that.”

Rosita gives you a death stare. “Why do you put up with him? He’s useless. What has he ever done? Put us all in danger and expect us to save his ass? Like I said, pathetic.”

“I’m alive because of him,” you answer. Rosita laughs bitterly.

“No, Abraham and I saved you from that hoard of walkers while Eugene cowered in the truck,” Rosita corrects you, “All Eugene’s ever done is lie to save his own ass.”

“Where would you be without his ‘lie?’” you question, “I know you wouldn’t be here without him and I know exactly where I’d be. If Eugene hadn’t seen me that day, if he hadn’t made you stop to save me, I’d be a walking corpse. So yeah, he did save my life and maybe yours too. His ‘lie’ gave you a purpose and it brought you here. Maybe he didn’t save you from a hoard of walkers, but he gave you a reason to keep going even if things didn’t turn out the way you thought they would. If I ever hear you talk to him that way again, you’ll regret it.” You turn back to Eugene and place a hand on his arm. “Come on, Eugene,” you say, your voice much softer now.

“You can defend him all you want,” Rosita says spitefully, “But he will always be the simpering, worthless little coward he is now. We’d all be better off if he were dead.” Anger boils up within you and something inside you snaps. Without even thinking, you spin on your heel and punch her right in the nose. Rosita’s hands fly up to cover her face as blood begins to drip. She looks at you in shock.

You ball your hands at your sides, fingernails biting into your palms as you fight to restrain yourself. “Don’t you ever say that,” you warn before storming off. Everyone stands stock-still and watches you wide eyed as you go. They know better than to say anything to you. You go around the corner of the building before stopping. Leaning back against the wall, you close your eyes and take a deep breath as you try to calm down.

Hitting her wasn’t the right thing to do, but damn it felt good; especially after all the things she had said. “Y/N?” Eugene asks timidly. Opening your eyes, you find him standing just a few paces from you. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” you answer, “Are you?”

“You’re bleeding,” Eugene states, “Stay right here.” The skin on your knuckles must have split when you punched Rosita. You hadn’t even felt it. Eugene leaves and quickly returns with a small first aid kit.

“Eugene, really, I’m fine,” you tell him as he takes your hand and directs you to a crate that had been left beside the building and tells you to sit down. “It’s not that bad,” you tell him.

“No matter how small, a wound is a wound and it needs to be addressed,” Eugene informs you as he kneels down in front of you and takes your hand to examine it, “Even a scratch can get infected with some nasty bacteria or other and it is paramount that I prevent that from happening.”

“What are you going to do? Kiss it and make it better?” you sigh.

“Rosita was correct in her assessment of my usefulness, as well as in other aspects of my character, though I’d like to think that I can manage the bandaging of a minor wound,” he states without looking up at you. Rosita’s words clearly hurt him and you’d added salt to the wound without even meaning to.

“Eugene, that isn’t what I meant,” you say, “You’re not useless. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that way.” Eugene swallows hard. He continues to look down as he gets to work on your hand. You hiss as he cleans the wound with alcohol. “Eugene, look at me,” you urge. When he doesn’t, you use your free hand to lift his gaze to yours. “You are not useless, or worthless, and no one would be better off if you were dead. That was a horrible thing for her to say, and it was a complete and total lie. I’d be lost without you. You know that right?”

“No, I am worthless; and I’m a liar and a coward,” Eugene argues, “Just like Rosita said.”

“Okay, you told a lie, so what? You’re not the first to do it and you won’t be the last. The rest of what Rosita said? It isn’t true, not in my eyes,” you tell him, “I hate the way she talks to you, the way she treats you. It isn’t right. You deserve so much better than that.”

Eugene swallows hard again before getting back to work bandaging your hand. “Thank you, for defending me,” he mutters softly, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did, I care about you, Eugene,” you answer.

He remains silent as he finishes his work. When he’s done, he cleans up and packs all of the unused materials neatly back into the first aid kit. He takes your hand in his again and places a gentle kiss against your bandaged knuckles, making you laugh.

“Better already,” you tell him before leaning in and kissing his cheek, “I should get back to work. Do you want to help Tara and me?” Eugene nods and follows you back into the warehouse.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Hello! First off, you’re an amazing writer and I love your style! I think it’s amazing that you’ve written such a long and great series dedicated to Eugene. He deserves more love. Can I please request more parts to Probability? I can’t wait for the smut! AND Hi, please please please add more to Probability. I can’t wait to read more! AND Thank you so much for giving Eugene some love. Please tell me you’re writing more!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut

The rest of the run had been uneventful. After returning to Alexandria, you’d gone straight home, taken off your shoes, and headed up to your room. You refused to even acknowledge Rosita’s existence let alone the dirty looks she was bound to be giving you.

You would never understand why or how Eugene could love someone who was so nasty to him. They’d been together since the beginning of the apocalypse, and maybe that had something to do with it, but you can’t understand why Eugene thinks that gives Rosita the right to speak to him that way. He deserves so much better.

Staring up at the ceiling you try to let your frustrations go. The longer you think about what Rosita had said, the angrier you get. A soft knock on your bedroom door draws your attention. Getting up from your bed with a heavy sigh, you open the door to find Eugene.

“Hey,” you greet him as you step to the side, “Wanna come in?”

“Thank you,” Eugene replies. He enters your room and stands awkwardly next to the bed as you shut your door. Looking to the floor, he taps his thumbs against the first aid kit in his hands. “I should change your bandage. After the work you’ve done all day, it’s likely unsterile.”

“I’m honestly fine. It doesn’t even hurt,” you tell him, but you concede when he proceeds to give you another long lecture about keeping your wounds clean. You sit at the edge of your bed with Eugene beside you as he un-wraps the gauze. “Has Rosita apologized to you yet?”

“Not as of yet. Will you apologize to Rosita?” he asks timidly.

“As soon as she apologizes to you and not a second sooner,” you answer, “I can be just as stubborn as her.”

“Did you mean what you said back there?” he questions without looking up at you.

“Every word,” you answer.

“Even the part where you said that I was the one who saved your life?” he adds as he cleans your hand and begins wrapping it up in fresh gauze.

“Especially that part,” you tell him, “If you hadn’t gotten Abe and Rosita to stop and save me, I would’ve been torn to shreds.”

“I never saw it that way,” Eugene says, “I’ve never considered myself to be the hero type. Other people are strong and brave, not me. I’m just a coward. People like Rosita and Abraham, or Daryl, or Rick, or you, you’re a hero, Y/N, not me.” He fastens off the gauze and continues to hold your hand in his. His gaze remains down as his thumb gently brushes over your gauze covered knuckles.

“Eugene,” you say softly as you cup his cheek with your free hand and bring his gaze to yours, “I realize that this sounds cheesy as Hell, but you’ve always been my hero. Not just because you saved me, but because of who you are. I admire you.”

He knits his brow and worries his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. You can see the gears turn as he thinks over what he should say or do. Suddenly, one of his hands comes up to cup the nape of your neck and he pulls you in for a deep and passionate kiss. You’re caught off guard, but it doesn’t take you long to respond. You cup his face between your hands as you return the kiss. Eugene’s other hand splays across the small of your back and he pulls you closer. The first aid kit falls to the floor, the contents scattering, but neither of you care.

Eugene pulls you to straddle his lap, his hand twisting into your hair; his other hand fists into your shirt and tugs with desperate need to feel your skin against his own. You don’t make him wait. Breaking the kiss, you quickly pull your shirt over your head and toss it to the floor before getting to work on opening the buttons of Eugene’s shirt. Reaching behind you, Eugene deftly unhooks your bra and pulls the straps down your arms to expose your breasts. He kisses every inch of you that he can reach as you pull his shirt from him.

You drag your nails lightly down his back, making him hum. The vibrations send chills down your spine. His calloused fingers explore your skin as if for the first time, like he’s trying to memorize each curve of your body. Rocking your hips, you can feel just how hard he’s gotten, even through all the layers of clothing. The feeling makes your core ache.

“I want you, Y/N,” he mutters against your skin.

“Are you sure?” you question, “It’s okay if you want to wait to be with someone you love.”

“I am one hundred percent, beyond a shadow of a doubt, absolutely sure,” Eugene answers, “I feel safe with you in a way that I don’t with anyone else. With you, I can make mistakes and not feel judged for them. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m worth something, even if I’m not.”

“Eugene, I hate when you talk about yourself like that,” you interrupt him as you gently run your hand through his hair. Eugene swallows hard and nods.

“I - I trust you, Y/N,” Eugene continues, “and I want you to be my first, if you’ll still have me, that is. I completely understand if you have changed your mind about our original arrangement. You have every right and reason to do so.”

“I want you too,” you assure him. The simple statement makes him smile before he pulls you in for another kiss. His fingers dig into your skin, making you moan. Eugene swallows the sound hungrily. You drag your nails down his chest and abdomen until you reach the waistband of his cargo shorts.

After unbuttoning and unzipping his shorts, you slip your hand inside and palm him through his boxers. Eugene hums and whimpers as you squeeze him gently. “Please,” he moans, “I need you.”

“Need or want?” you question as you pull your hand away from him and stand from his lap.

“B-both,” he responds as if he’s afraid of giving the wrong answer. He watches you move to your nightstand and begins to ramble, “I both desire and need you, Y/N. I believe my reasons for needing you are obvious given our current circumstances and I want you because, well, I’m sure that’s obvious as well.” It isn’t as obvious as Eugene believes it to be, but you don’t ask him to elaborate. You take the box of condoms from your drawer and pull one from the box before turning back to Eugene. He swallows hard and his hands fist tight into the sheets. “Just tell me what to do,” he adds, “Anything you want, I’ll do it.”

You smirk as you open your jeans and push them down along with your panties before stepping out of them. Eugene’s eyes rake over your body, drinking you in. “Stand up,” you instruct. Eugene quickly follows orders.

Closing the distance between you, you push down his shorts and boxers. His hard cock springs free, standing at attention with precum already leaking from his tip. You wet your lips and draw the bottom one between your teeth for a moment as you look him over. “Lie down,” you urge him. Eugene swallows hard and follows your instructions.

He moves to lie in the center of the bed, propping himself up on his elbows as he watches you crawl onto the bed beside him. You tear open the condom and Eugene moans as you roll it onto his length. “Please,” he pants, hands fisting into the sheets.

“Is this okay?” you question as you move to straddle his lap.

He swallows hard and nods eagerly, “This is more than okay; it’s very much beyond okay. I need you, please, Y/N.” You run your hands up his abdomen to his chest as he speaks and once he’s done, you decide not to make him wait any longer. Reaching down with one hand, you take hold of his length and line him up with your entrance.

“Eugene,” you moan as you sink down onto him slowly. His hands go straight to your thighs, fingers digging into the skin as he holds onto you for dear life. He’s sure to leave bruises, but you don’t mind in the least.

Your name falls from Eugene’s lips like a prayer as you give yourself a moment to adjust to his size. His eyes are shut tight as he becomes accustomed to the feeling of being inside you. You cup his cheek in your hand and run your thumb along his cheekbone. He finally opens his eyes and looks up at you with a mixture of awe and lust.

Ever so slowly, you lift your hips and lower yourself back down onto him. His moans of your name are like music to your ears. You set a slow and easy pace, wanting to savor every sensation for as long as possible. Eugene’s hands slide up to your waist and pull at you, silently begging you to move faster. His eyes drink in each and every inch of you; appreciating the way your hips move, the way your breasts bounce, the way he disappears inside you over and over again.

You can feel him twitching inside you, his cock sliding against your g-spot with each swivel of your hips. Pleasure coils in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes fall shut and your head tips back as you give in to the sensations he’s creating within you. The next thing you know, Eugene has moved so that he’s sitting up. One of his hands tangles in your hair, the other presses flat against the small of your back. He takes one of your nipples between his lips, drawing a loud moan from you. You grasp his shoulders, holding tight as you ride him faster, harder.

Eugene seems to love the new pace, moaning your name, curses, and pleas. He’s close, so are you. You can feel your walls growing tighter around him as his cock throbs with the need for release. “Y/N, I’m close,” he mutters. One of his hands slides down between your legs and his fingers circle your clit. “Please, I need you to -” he begins, but doesn’t get the chance to finish his thought. The pressure of his fingers against you and his cock inside you brings you to your end.

“Eugene!” you cry out as pleasure courses through you. Your body shudders as your walls clamp down around him, causing Eugene to moan. You continue to ride him to completion, his cock pulsing hard as he shouts your name.

You fist a hand in his hair and bring his lips to yours as you milk him for all he’s worth. The kiss is sloppy, but filled with want and need. “Without a doubt, that was the best experience I’ve ever had,” Eugene mutters against your lips, breathless. You laugh as you rest your forehead against his. “W-was it okay for you?”

“It was very much beyond okay,” you tell him, mimicking his words from earlier. His arms wrap around you, holding you close.

“I’d like to stay like this for a little while longer,” Eugene mutters as he nestles his face into the crook of your neck.

“So would I,” you whisper back as you hold him close.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Please continue Probability. I would love to see more smut!!! AND I’d love you forever if you continue Probability. I need more Eugene smut <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut, language

When you wake, Eugene has you wrapped up in his arms. Your back is pressed tightly against him, his bare skin radiating heat. Soft breaths fan over your shoulder. Cautiously, you turn in his arms so that you’re facing him. You hesitate, making sure he’s still asleep before gently cupping his cheek in your hand and running your thumb along his cheekbone. 

It’s late morning and you should already be out of bed. Construction of the greenhouse is supposed to start this afternoon and seeing as it’s your project, you should really be there to kick things off. Even so, you aren’t motivated to get up. It isn’t long before Eugene begins to stir, however. 

“Mornin’,” he drawls, sleepily opening one eye to look at you. 

“Good morning,” you reply. A smile crosses his lips before he leans in to kiss you. One of his hands tangles into your hair, deepening the kiss.

“Y/N, last night -” he begins timidly as he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours. He seems reluctant to finish his sentence, so you decide to help him.

“Was amazing,” you finish for him, “Honestly, you had nothing to worry about. You were perfect.” He smiles, but it quickly fades before he begins to speak again.

“Actually, I was wondering … what happened last night doesn’t change things between us, does it?“ he questions. 

"No, of course not,” you assure him, “You’re my best friend and you always will be. This arrangement isn’t going to change that." 

"Oh, okay. Good, that’s good,” he responds, but his tone doesn’t agree with what he’s saying. 

“Eugene, is something wrong?” you question, “Did last night to change things for you?” You try not to let yourself get too hopeful, but you can’t stop the bolt of excitement that runs through you.

“No. No, of course not; and nothing is wrong,” he answers, “Everything’s great, perfect even. As you stated, we will always be friends. I’m grateful for that.“

"I guess this means our arrangement has come to an end,” you say with a sad smile as you push yourself up into a sitting position and lean back against the headboard. The excitement you’d felt quickly fading.

“I - I’m,” Eugene stammers, as he scrambles into a sitting position beside you. 

“It’s okay, Eugene,” you tell him, “This is what we agreed to. I suppose you’ll want to talk to Rosita soon.”

“No,” he answers quickly, “I mean, not at the present moment. I do not believe my skills to be up to par. Besides, Rosita is still in a relationship with Abraham and it would be inappropriate to try and split them up. I was, well… would you allow me to continue visiting your bed?”

Eugene had never mentioned any concern for disrupting Rosita’s and Abraham’s relationship before. You wonder what had changed; if it meant more than he was letting on. Maybe last night really had changed things for him, or at least put the idea in his head.

“So, you want this to keep going? This arrangement between us, I mean,” you question. Looking down to your lap, you begin to play absentmindedly with the sheet.

“No, well yes … an extension of our agreement, or perhaps an amendment to it.”

“What sort of amendment?”

“I’m not sure as of yet, but intercourse is still very much a part of it … if you’re amenable. Are you?”

He isn’t running straight to Rosita. Eugene is here and he wants to stay here with you, for the present anyway. Maybe what he feels for you isn’t romantic, but it’s a damn sight better than being alone. It’s a whole Hell of a lot better than watching him chase after a woman who doesn’t love him and likely never would. 

“I’d like that,” you answer. 

Eugene smiles brightly before reaching out for you. He pulls you close and presses his lips to yours. His hands push away the sheets before running over every inch of you. You moan as his fingertips dig into your skin, grasping you and pulling you into his lap. Draping your arms over his shoulders, you thread your fingers into his hair and tug.

“I want you,” Eugene mutters against your lips, “Please.” You hum in agreement, the sound becoming a moan as one of his hands slides between your legs. 

“Eugene,” you sigh as his fingers circle your clit. You rock yourself against his hand as he teases your folds. He slides a finger inside you, curling it perfectly against your g-spot. “Fuck,” you whisper. 

Reaching over to your nightstand, you grab a condom and start to tear it open. Eugene catches your wrist with his free hand, stopping you. “Could we actually try something different?” he asks timidly. 

“What were you thinking?” you question. 

“Would it be okay if I were on top?” Eugene asks, “I’m not sure if you’d find the idea appealing, but if you do, I’d like to give it a try.”

“I would love that,” you answer with a grin. Eugene smiles in return. Without missing a beat, he grasps your hips and flips you onto your back. You can’t help but laugh at his eagerness as your back hits the mattress. Kneeling between your legs, he takes the condom from you and tears it open before rolling it over his length.

Eugene positions you exactly where he wants you and settles above you, his forearms rest to either side of your head and cage you beneath him. He wets his lips as he takes in the sight of you beneath him, his eyes flooded with lust. Reaching up, you cup his face between your hands and pull him down for another kiss.

“Is this okay?” he mumbles, “Are you comfortable?" 

"This is perfect,” you mutter in response as you drag your nails lightly down his back. Breaking the kiss, Eugene begins pressing kisses down your neck and along your collarbone.

You wrap a leg around his waist and pull him down against you. Loud moans escape both your lips and his. Eugene is rock hard and you can’t stop yourself from rocking your hips up against him, craving more friction. His hand moves from your hip and slides along your arm until he finds your hand. He interlaces his fingers with yours and presses your hand back against the pillow beside your head. 

Kissing you gently, he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes into you slowly. Your back arches as he sheathes himself up to the hilt. “Y/N,” Eugene groans. He squeezes his eyes shut tight as he tries to keep himself still and give you enough time to adjust. 

“I need you to move,” you whisper, lifting your hips to encourage him. He starts slow as if testing to see how you’ll react. With each shift of his hips, he gauges your reaction, calculating the perfect angle and pace to give you the greatest amount of satisfaction possible. No one you’d been with before had ever been so attentive.

It doesn’t take long for Eugene to reduce you to a moaning, pleading mess. Once he’s found his rhythm you beg him not to stop, and Eugene obliges. Each of his thrusts has him sliding against your g-spot perfectly. Pressure begins to build within you, a knot forming in the pit of your stomach. 

“Eugene, you feel so good,” you moan as you lift your hips from the bed in time with his thrusts. The praise you give him only serves to egg him on. Your walls flutter around him, causing is even pace to falter. 

Eugene squeezes your hand tight and his thrusts become quicker and more uneven. His cock throbs and twitches hard inside you, drawing you closer and closer to your end. Finally, the knot in your stomach pulls tight and snaps.

“Oh, fuck, Eugene!” you shout as pleasure courses through you. With your free hand, you grasp his shoulder, fingertips digging into his skin as you try to steady yourself; and with your other hand still in his, you squeeze tight. Your body shudders as your walls clamp down around him. You wrap your leg tight around his waist and pull him in close, taking his cock as deep into you as you possibly can.

The sensation of you coming undone around him brings Eugene to his end as well. “Y/N!” he grunts loudly as he squeezes your hand in return. His cock pulses hard inside you as he spills himself into the condom. He continues to rock his hips, prolonging both your orgasm and his own. You moan as Eugene helps you ride out the aftershocks of your high. 

“Y/N, you’re incredible,” he whispers.

“I know,” you answer teasingly, “So are you.” Eugene grins before leaning down to capture your lips. You eagerly kiss him back, happy to know that he wanted this arrangement to continue.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requests: Hello! I love your writing, expecially Probability, and now that the Reader and Eugene are having sex, would you be willing to write a part where they try a different position. Maybe doggie style or shower sex? Thank you, Love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smut, language

Building the frame for the greenhouse had taken longer than expected. Rumors of other groups in the area had slowed things down, but that didn’t deter you from finishing what you had set out to do. You had continued building with any assistance you could get and today is the day you’d start putting the glass panels in place. 

You’d already met with your small group of volunteers and gone over today’s tasks. With Eugene as your lead architect, Carl and Enid work on sorting glass panels by shape and size, helping to decide where each piece would fit best. Abraham and Sasha work as a team, carrying panels to the wooden structure and setting them in place; Tara and you do the same. Michonne and Daryl help lift the panels into place and secure them to the frame. 

Eugene is set up at a table under some trees about twenty feet away. You watch as he smoothes out his blueprints across the table and places a rock on each corner before looking up from his work. He notices you watching and gives you a nervous smile. You can’t help but smile in return.

“What are you grinning at?” Tara questions as the two of you carry the glass toward the wooden frame.

“What? Nothing. I’m not grinning at anything,” you reply, ever so smoothly, as your face instantly heats up. Tara looks over her shoulder before looking back at you with a smirk.

“Isn’t it rude to call your boyfriend ‘nothing?’” Tara teases.

“Eugene isn’t my boyfriend,” you refute.

“So, you were smiling at Eugene,” she says smugly, “Are you two supposed to be a secret or something?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you answer, “There’s no secret.”

“Isn’t that the truth? I know you’ve been shacking up together. The walls aren’t as thick as you seem to think they are. So, what’s it like? Is he the kind who seems shy until you get him in bed and then he’s really kinky?” She’d strategically waited and picked her moment to ask. It wasn’t like you could avoid the question by dropping the glass on her feet and running away. Tara had you trapped.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry. If we’re too loud we can -”

“Sorry? What are you apologizing for? If the two of you are happy, then I’m happy for you. You both deserve it. I mean, it’s been a long time coming and I’m glad the two of you finally figured your shit out!”

“We aren’t together,” you correct her, “I mean, we are … physically … but we’re not a couple.”

“So friends with benefits?” she questions. 

“I don’t even know if I’m being honest,” you reply, “we - god, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” You stop your story as you hold the glass pane in place for Daryl to secure, blushing at the thought of what you’d almost told Tara within earshot of everyone else. 

“You can tell me,” Tara insists softly, nudging your arm as you walk back to get another piece of glass, “I pinky promise not to tell anyone.”

“Fine,” you sigh before continuing quietly, “Eugene and I had this arrangement. It started a while ago and it only happened because Eugene wanted to gain… experience. He wanted to be able to impress Rosita and he thought having sexual experience would help, so I agreed to teach him. It was just supposed to be a one time thing, but I guess you already know it wasn’t. Our arrangement just sort of kept going from there. We agreed to extend it, or amend it I guess, but we never really defined what those amendments were.”

“That’s so sad.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. The agreement sucks.” Lifting another pane of glass from the ground, you start carrying it toward the structure. 

“No, I mean the fact that you’re both using some arrangement to hide how you really feel about each other.”

“Do you think he actually feels something for me, other than something platonic? Sometimes he’ll say or do something that gives me a little bit of hope and then he just turns around and tears it all away. Besides, he’s completely infatuated with Rosita. I’ll never understand it to be honest, but it’s true.”

“Infatuated? Yeah, I’ll give you that. Completely? Not so much. He’s been pining after Rosita ever since I joined you guys, but he’s shown interest in you too, you know. I think the two of you are perfect for each other; a match made in Heaven, if that’s still a saying.”

“I wish he thought so, but practically everything he does is only an attempt to get Rosita to notice him; so it doesn’t matter if we’re a 'match made in Heaven’ if all he cares about is her.”

“He says he wants to impress Rosita, but look around. She isn’t here. He stepped up and took on a job to help you. So is it Rosita he’s trying to impress, or you?” Tara questions.

“Maybe Rosita went out on a run and Eugene didn’t want to go. Besides, he doesn’t have to impress me, he knows that.”

***

As the day goes on, the greenhouse gets closer and closer to completion. All the while, the sun seems to have gotten hotter, and the panels heavier. Tara and you are holding a large panel in place when Tara’s arm begins to cramp. 

“Ouch, ouch, ouch!” Tara complains. The glass hadn’t been secured in place yet and it begins to tip back toward you. “Eugene, I need you to take my place,” she shouts to him. 

Within a matter of seconds, a body presses up against your back. Eugene’s hands splay to either side of your own as he helps you to push the glass back into place. Tara thanks him and goes to sit under the trees, trying to relieve her cramping muscles.

“Are you all right?” Eugene questions. His look of concern is reflected in the glass. 

“I’m fine,” you answer, “Tara’s the one in pain.” The others rush over to lend a hand in secure the glass in place.

Your heart races from having Eugene pressed against you like this. Heat radiates off of him and, despite the warm weather, you don’t mind a bit. The way he has you pinned sparks an idea, forcing you to suppress a moan. The thought causes your cheeks to heat up and you look down at your feet, hoping that no one will notice.

“It’s a good thing you were so close. The glass might’ve fallen back on me if you hadn’t been here,” you say as you finally turn to face Eugene, “Thank you for your help.”

“No need to thank me,” Eugene replies as he guides you away from the building and looks you over to make sure that you really are unharmed, “Your safety is my paramount concern… everyone’s safety I mean, of course. I’m just glad that I was close enough to be of assistance. I think it might be time for a break, however. Everyone has been working all day and you surely deserve some rest and a good meal.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” you reply. Turning back to your group of volunteers, you thank them for their hard work today and send them on their way. Eugene heads back to his workbench to gather up the blueprints.

“Are you all right?” you ask as you catch up to Tara.

“Oh, I’m all better now. Enjoy the rest of your day. I’m sure there’s no one at home right now so you can both be as loud as you want,” Tara teases you quietly with a sly smirk and a wink. You narrow your eyes at her as you realize she’d staged the whole thing, probably for her own amusement. “Seriously though, talk to him. Whatever that agreement between the two of you is, sort it out,” she insists before taking her leave.

“Well, it appears as if we’re free for the rest of the day,” Eugene comments from behind you. You turn to find him with an armful of rolled up paper. “Would you like to grab a bite to eat or take a nap? I’m sure you’re exhausted and would enjoy some relaxation, I know I would. Maybe some video games are in order?”

“Actually, I have something else in mind,” you reply, deciding to take a bit of Tara’s advice, “Come with me.” Reaching out, you take his free hand and guide him back toward the house. 

“If not video games, a book or some TV then?” he asks. 

“I was thinking something a little more … intimate,” you insinuate as you reach the front door and let yourself in, “The way you had me pinned when you helped me hold up that window gave me an idea.”

Eugene looks at you with knit brows for a moment until he catches your meaning. “Oh,” he mutters, cheeks flushing as if he’s embarrassed for not catching on quicker. 

“Only if you want to,” you add, “We can always do something else if you’d rather -”

“No - I mean yes - I mean no, I don’t want to do anything else,” Eugene stammers, “I want you, now, as you suggested, please.” His cheeks flush an even deeper red. You love that he still gets so flustered sometimes.

Leaning in, you press a kiss to his lips in order to end his rambling as you take the blueprints from him. You drop them on the sofa before leading him the rest of the way up the stairs and into your room. As soon as you’re inside, Eugene wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you tight against him. You tilt your head to the side and tangle your hands in his hair as you deepen the kiss. Eugene responds by walking you backward until your back hits the closed door, pinning you between it and Eugene’s body. 

“Are you still … interested … in trying … new things?” you ask between hungry kisses.

“Very much so,” Eugene answers. 

You smile before pulling him in for a deeper kiss. Eugene’s hands slide from your waist and start to play with the buttons of your shirt, silently asking for permission. You quickly grant it. Turning yourself away from the door you guide Eugene toward your bed, shedding your clothing along the way. You stop at your nightstand to grab a condom before moving to kneel on the bed. 

“What are we going to try?” Eugene asks, standing at the edge of your bed and waiting for guidance. He’s already hard, his pupils dilated with excitement. 

“It’s called doggy style,” you tell him, draping your arms over his shoulders. 

“I’ve heard of it,” Eugene admits, blushing again.

“Wanna try it?” you question, leaving a trail of kisses across his shoulder. Eugene draws his bottom lip between his teeth and nods emphatically. You smile and kiss him before handing him the condom. Turning, you settle yourself on all fours as you hear Eugene tear open the condom and roll it over his length. 

“How should I -” Eugene begins, but his words trail off into a groan as you rock your hips back. His hard cock slides through your slick folds, making you moan. 

“Don’t think too hard,” you instruct, repeating your actions. One of Eugene’s hands grasps your hip and you can feel him line himself up with your entrance. 

“Y/N,” he groans as he slides into you. You moan his name as he stretches and fills you. His free hand slides up your back and neck before twisting into your hair.

“I need you to move, Eugene,” you groan, rocking back toward him for encouragement. Eugene obliges. His pace starts slow, drawing his cock almost completely out of you before pushing back in. “Oh, that’s it,” you moan. He does this several times, but he slows with each thrust.

Rocking your hips back, you try to entice him to pick up the pace, but he doesn’t. Suddenly, he stops. “I don’t think I like this,” he tells you before pulling out, “I’m sorry if I’m upsetting you, I don’t mean to.”

“Eugene, no, I’m not upset. You don’t have to apologize for not liking something,” you tell him as you quickly turn to face him and cup his face between your hands, “I’m glad you told me. I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can try a different position, if you want, or we can do something else altogether.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like it,” Eugene tells you as he sits beside you, “I did. It felt exceptionally good if I’m being honest, but the problem is that I can’t see your face. When we’ve been together in the past, I’ve learned the facial expressions you make when something feels good or bad and I’ve used them as a means of gauging the amount of pleasure you’re feeling at any given moment; but if I can’t see your expressions, then I have no way of knowing if what I’m doing is actually satisfying and the last thing I want to do is disappoint you.”

“Trust me, you weren’t disappointing,” you assure him. 

“All the same, I’d like to be able to see your expressions,” he insists. 

“Okay, what if we try this,” you begin as you stand from the bed. You take his hands in yours and lead him toward your dresser. The way you’d seen Eugene’s reflection in the glass earlier gives you another idea. “What if I stand here with you behind me?” you ask as you position yourself in front of your mirror, “This way, we can try something different, but you can still see my face.”

Eugene settles in behind you and catches your gaze in the mirror. “I think I like this better,” Eugene confirms. 

You smile at him in the mirror before reaching behind you and twisting your hand into his hair. Leaning back against him, you turn your head and pull him in for a kiss. One of Eugene’s arms wraps around your waist. His free hand splays across your stomach and slowly slides higher until he’s groping your breast. 

“Please, Genie, I need you,” you mumble against his lips. You grind yourself back against him, earning a groan. Breaking the kiss, you lean forward to rest your forearms against your dresser as you spread your legs for him. 

One of Eugene’s hands grasps your hip as he uses the other to line himself up with your entrance again. His eyes flick up to watch you in the mirror as he pushes into you. He wets his lips as you moan for him, watching you in the mirror as he begins to move. 

He starts gentle, testing your reaction with each thrust. It isn’t long before you start pushing your hips back as he thrusts forward, forcing him deeper inside you. 

“Fuck, that’s good,” you praise him as he picks up the pace. A knot begins to coil in the pit of your stomach. Eugene’s fingers dig into your hips and he begins pulling you back with each of his thrusts, taking more control. Your dresser shakes, the items on top rattling with each thrust.

You whimper his name. The mirror gives you the unique vantage point to watch Eugene over your shoulder. His eyes are black with lust, a look of pure ecstasy in his expression. All of his focus is on you, all of his energy poured into giving you every ounce of pleasure that he can. 

“Y/N,” he grunts as his cock throbs inside you. His hands slip around to the front of your body. One presses against your chest, pulling you back against him. The other slides down between your legs, his fingers teasing your clit. You reach behind you and thread your fingers into his hair. The knot in your stomach tightens. Eugene has you teetering right on the edge of orgasm and all it takes is to catch his gaze in the mirror.

“Eugene!” you shout the pressure releases and floods your body. Your legs shake and you struggle to stay standing as your walls clamp down around Eugene’s cock. He holds you tight against him and after a few more thrusts, he’s shouting your name as he spills himself into the condom. 

Eugene buries his face into the crook of your neck as he comes. His hot breaths fan across your skin as he tries to recover from his high. You lean your head back against his shoulder and Eugene begins to place gentle kisses along the column of your neck. His arms tighten around you, making it clear he isn’t going to let you go anytime soon. 

***

After finally convincing Eugene to take a shower with you, you both get cleaned up and head downstairs to grab some dinner. 

“Y/N, why did you suggest trying that particular position? Doggy style, I mean?” Eugene asks bluntly as he pushes his food around his plate with a fork. 

“Well, the way you had me pinned up against the side of the greenhouse gave me the idea in the first place,” you answer, “But I thought it would be fun to try something different.”

“Is that the only reason?” he presses. 

“Yeah, why?” you ask in response. 

“I just thought that, given the fact that you were facing away from me and could make an effort not to look at me, it would be very easy for you to imagine someone else in my place. Was that your intent?”

“No, of course not. Genie, I have never imagined being with anyone else.”

“I was afraid you wanted to imagine yourself being with the man you told me about before; the man you’ve confessed your love for I mean. When I’m with you I want it to be about us, if that’s okay,” Eugene adds. He keeps his gaze down as he says it, almost like he’s ashamed of something. 

“I want that too,” you assure him, knitting your brows as you watch him, “But I think we need to talk about this arrangement we have." 

"We do?” he asks, looking up quickly and swallowing hard. 

“I know we said we’d amend the terms of this new arrangement, but we’ve never actually gotten around to doing that. I think we need to talk about it." 

"I think it might actually be better this way,” Eugene tells you, his words so rushed that it’s hard to keep up, “No terms means no rules to break. It’s easier that way, don’t you agree? Normally I’m all for making and following rules, but I believe this may be the exception. That way neither of us gets mad at the other if one were to break one of said rules." 

"Eugene, slow down,” you insist, “I don’t understand where this is coming from. I need you to explain." 

"I - I have a confession to make,” he tells you, “I broke a rule, or bent it at the very least; perhaps saying that I skirted around it is more appropriate. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I did something I wasn’t supposed to do, something I said I wouldn’t do, something you didn’t agree to; and now I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ll decide to dislike me for it.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader listens to Eugene's confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None

After telling you he needed to make a confession, he’d gotten up from the table and begun to pace nervously. He’s been rambling so quickly and quietly that you can’t understand a word he’s saying. Making your way toward him, you take hold of his wrist and guide him to the sofa, coaxing him to sit beside you.

“Eugene, whatever you tell me, it isn’t going to change how I feel about you,” you assure him.

“That’s actually what I’m afraid of, in a way,” he admits as he looks down at his lap, “I know what I did was wrong, and it wasn’t what you agreed to when you agreed to help me, but if you’ll allow me, I need to tell you something. If you’d promise to hear me out before passing judgment, I’d be grateful." 

"I promise.”

Eugene takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve been trying to imagine how this might occur and rehearse what I’m about to say, but this hasn’t gone to any of my plans in the least. When you first agreed to help me gain the experience I was looking for, I told you I was simply trying to find a way of impressing Rosita and I insinuated that there would be no romantic feelings between us. At the time that was true, as far as I knew anyway. It wasn’t until the night of Deanna’s party that things began to change, but even then I didn’t understand it.”

“Eugene, are you-” you interrupt, but Eugene doesn’t let you finish.

“Please, Y/N, I need to say this,” he pleads as he finally looks up at you. You can see the nervousness written all over his face. “It’s been on my mind for quite a while now and it needs to be expressed fully.” You nod for him to continue as your heart begins to race from anticipation, hoping to hear the three words you’d been waiting to hear for so long. “Ever since the beginning of this apocalypse I’ve had Rosita with me and I’d developed a set of feelings for her that I assumed were love. I’d never been in love before and didn’t know any better. Then I met you and the feelings I felt for you were always so different from what I felt for Rosita. Since my feelings for you didn’t exactly match my feelings for her, I couldn’t recognize them for what they really were. 

“That night at Deanna’s party, I left when I saw you with Spencer. At the time, I told you that I didn’t want to stand in the way of a possible romance between the two of you, but that simply wasn’t true. I left because seeing you flirting with him made me feel something I didn’t understand at the time. I tried my best to make it seem as if I was unfazed by the thought of the two of you together, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. Reflecting back on it now though, I think the feeling was jealousy and I realize now that by trying to pretend I didn’t care, I only wound up hurting you more.

“Then my being jealous drove you away and you departed from Alexandria with Aaron without saying goodbye. While you were gone, all I wanted was to be with you and to be on speaking terms again. I hated being away from you and thinking that you were angry with me only made things worse. At that point, I still didn’t understand my feelings for you, but I knew that I hated being separated from you. 

“After that was the dinner I cooked for you, the one where I asked if it was possible to love two people at once. I wasn’t asking due to the possibility of Rosita having multiple love interests. In all honesty, I was asking for my own selfish reasons; because I thought that maybe there was a way for me to love both you and her. I see now that I was so very, very wrong.

“During that dinner, you told me that you’ve only ever loved one person, and I think I’m much the same. I love one person, and I’ve only ever loved one person. I see that now. You told me a list of reasons for why you love the man you love and I decided to make my own. I started with your list and added some points of my own. I came to realize that while Rosita's bravery is far superior to my own and she’s saved my life on multiple occasions, she isn’t the person I want to fall asleep with or wake up next to. She doesn’t inspire me to be better or make me feel like I’m worth anything. Being around her is more likely than not to cause me anxiety for fear of making a mistake and making her angry. She doesn’t share my interests unless they can be useful to her in some way and frankly I feel like she looks down on me for them. 

“In the end I came to realize that I never loved Rosita. I only thought I did because I was drawn to her out of a necessity for protection in order to survive, and because I came to believe that what I felt for her was love I was blinded by those feelings. I was so blinded that I couldn’t understand that what I feel for you is love, complete and true. I’ve loved you from the very start, Y/N, and I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to realize it.

“I know that developing feelings for one another was not part of the deal we both agreed to, but I was wondering what the probability of you giving me a chance in a romantic capacity might be. I understand if you wish to refuse me and continue on with our arrangement as previously agreed upon, or end the arrangement altogether.”

You feel like you’re about to explode. You’ve been holding back tears this whole time, but at his final admission of love for you they finally break free. 

"Eugene, I’d say the probability of-” you try to tell him as the tears roll down your cheeks, but he interrupts.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve upset you,” Eugene says, “That was never my intention. I was prepared for rejection and I harbor you no ill will. Would it be possible to forget my admission and pretend-”

Now it’s your turn to interrupt, “I’m crying because I’m happy, not because I’m upset.”

“Y-you are?”

“You have no clue,” you tell him as you wipe away the tears, “I don’t want to forget what you said or pretend like it never happened because I love you too." 

"You can’t,” Eugene accuses, “It isn’t possible.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ve only ever loved one person, you said so.”

“That’s true, but I was talking about you.”

“While I may possess some of the qualities of the man you described, I hardly fit the bill; and while you informed me that you counted me as someone who had saved your life, I scarcely dared to hope that it made me qualified to be the man you described. Plus you said that I was your best friend and I always would be. Besides, when I asked you who your preferred type of partner was, you responded that you guessed it would be someone like me, but you didn’t say it was me.”

“I love you, Eugene; I always have and I always will. You are my best friend and you are exactly the man I described. I was stupid for not making that clear. I’m sorry, Eugene. I was afraid that if I told you flat out, I’d ruin things between us; not just this arrangement, but our entire relationship. I should have said something instead of using this agreement to hide how I really feel." 

"No, I’m a downright moron. I can’t believe that I was the idiot you loved who didn’t love you back,” Eugene says. You shake your head before reaching up, cupping his cheek and running your thumb along his cheekbone. Leaning in, you rest your forehead against his before pressing a kiss to his lips. Eugene’s hands come up to tangle in your hair, drawing you in closer as he deepens the kiss. 

“I suppose this means our previous agreement has finally and fully come to a stop,” Eugene says as he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours again. 

“In a way, I suppose it does,” you agree before adding a statement to mimic Eugene’s words from before, “Though in another way, I suppose you could see it as an extension of our agreement, perhaps with amendments.” 

“I love you, Y/N. That’s my amendment,” Eugene states before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.


End file.
